Really, the conglomeration of ingredients in these vegetarian stuffed baked potatoes could rid us of world hunger, or kill us trying.
With fillings galore, this vegetarian dish ironically caused me to have a glorious and fortuitous heart attack. After my heart attack, I reincarnated as a cat, seeking vengeance in the pet food industry. The prior plague that plaqued my blood vessels was cured, and my veterinarian hooked me up to some tasty natural pet food morsels. Dumbfounded by my luck, my diet regressed when I became fascinated with licking the fuzz off of toilet paper, and catching cockroaches on the kitchen floor. As a cat who is a bit hard to interpret, I suffer from a language barrier, that of which I blame on the fall of the tower of babel. I heard that Babelfish was a good language translation website back in the day, but I would rather eat a fish than try to participate in a one and one conversation with that particular bubbling googly eyed airhead.
As a God of my own reality, my feline flaws can really stir up some non-existent emotions.
Emotions, feelings, giving up, fitting in. Right now a paw to the face says it all. Does not caring mean I have sociopathic tendencies, or is this characteristic more of a primal instinct influenced by the precious kitty cat society? Bright eyed and bushy tailed is no longer for the weak. As a Sun worshipper, basking in the holiest of “death rays” all day everyday, I seek forgiveness from the Sun God for proving to be a double standard to my natural upbringing, the Cat-holic faith. Perhaps seeking a polytheistic religious viewpoint like that of the new age religion at Unity Church is more helpful to rid my world of bad karma.
My world is always gloomy when those abnormal weather patterns caused from chem-tails (or some nonsense of that nature that I have heard is endangering our environment) mess up my potential to lay in my favorite sun spots.
Anyways, back to these vegetarian baked potatoes. These things are pursestring-licking…errr.. I mean, butthole-licking good. Let’s get sterile now buggers, smooth flight from heron in (I’ll get that bird one day).
Since my mother will not let me explore the vegetarian lifestyle, I will have to wait for her to leave the room before I dive into that cheese on those vegetarian stuffed baked potatoes.
I wish I could veg out with those highly educated vegans, but my esophagus is telling me to stick to that hairball control plan. So life will go on and I will continue to lick toilet paper while my selfish family enjoys their fantastic compilation of goodness stuffed into a baked potato. Honestly hunting sounds better to me anyways, fishing from the cat bowl, stalking feet and catching mice. As I continue to drive my family bonkers, I am becoming increasingly aware that patience is a virtue in my family, and am happy that cats have nine lives.
- Baked potatoes
- Morningstar bacon (aka fakon)
- Quorn chicken
- Shredded cheese
- Pile them on.
- Eat them up.
As above, so below… errr, see below.