This sweet and sour cashew cauliflower is the bomb-diggity crash course for any vegetarian survivalist eager to make it through the next alien invasion.
This menu item brings a whole new meaning to the term “dine and dash”. Fighting zombies one day at a time in order to make ends meet. Now this is the story of the century for any news circuit.
- 2 heads cauliflower (chopped)
- 20 oz. can pineapple chunks (drained)
- 1 c. cashews
- 1 c. almond meal
- 1/2 c. red wine vinegar
- 2 egg whites
- 2/3 c. sugar
- 2 TBS soy sauce
- 1 TBS water
- 1 TBS cornstarch
- 1/4 tsp. dry ground ginger
- 2 tsp. hot sauce
- 1 tsp. garlic powder
- 1 tsp. salt
Laying waste to hypocrisy, this bombshell vegetarian dish is making it mainstream today.
Preheat Oven: 425 degrees Fahrenheit
Serving Size: 6 suitors
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 35 minutes
What’s the dish? You are looking at it.
- Line a sheet with aluminum foil and coat with thin layer of olive oil.
- Mix together garlic powder, salt, pepper, ginger and almond meal in a medium bowl.
- Lightly whisk the egg whites until frothy.
- Spread egg whites evenly over the cauliflower in a large bowl (Toss for even distribution).
- Drain excess egg white from bowl.
- Crumble almonds overtop of cauliflower.
- Continue tossing and coating cauliflower florets with almond mixture.
- Bake florets for 20 minutes until lightly brown.
- Combine pineapple juice, sugar, hot sauce, vinegar sauce, and soy sauce in a saucepan on a medium-high stove-top setting.
- Stir often and simmer until reducing about one third for five minutes.
- Mix together cornstarch and water in a small glass, and it to a pan.
- Stir and simmer mixture for 2 minutes until thickened.
- Pour sauce on cauliflower and divide dish into four serving plates.
- Sprinkle each serving with cashews.
- Wah-la, you have your Sweet and Sour Cashew Cauliflower.
The Sweet and Sour Cashew Cauliflower is just one dish that has awakened this vegetarian Goddess’s tastebuds (all rights reserved for this catchphrase). This mouth-watering dish tasted so miraculous that an 8 month old panda would have eaten it, enjoyed it, and seen the day in a different light. No longer would the panda desire rough, difficult to chew bamboo for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The panda would instead expand his horizons and learn to get along better with the rest of the animal kingdom. With the shortage of bamboo in the area in which he inhabits, he will gravitate more towards the kingly life of other vegetables worthy of his lavish and ever evolving tastebuds. This lavishly prepared cauliflower dish is sure to win over any suitor’s heart (king, queen, or amoeba, depending upon the individuals personal preference. An amoeba panda, now that is rich.)
The epitome of goodness, this main course or side dish is sure to win over an array of house guests, including but not limited to, that panda. Who is sitting awkwardly in that corner peering back at you. You enjoy his company knowing that what he is experiencing is vastly different than anything he has felt before. Like a mama grizzly bear who has opened her eyes for the first time since a long winter of hibernation, he has opened his eyes and rejoiced. This panda strives to cohabitate within the realms of mankind in order to win over his fair lady. He is provoked to provide a senseless lifestyle to win over the heart of a majestic lion (or lamb) in attempts to merge the gaps between what is right and wrong in society. In doing so, he establishes boundaries by throwing hazards to the wind. This is an attempt to establish his last supper with the most deserving of spectators, while discovering the wild side of humanity with you.
Kind regards to my mother for supporting my valiant efforts in saving the animal kingdom in preparation for her sultan’s vegetarian meal.
*Almond meal can be gluten free and is provided in holistic food stores around the country. All citizens are provided with this luxury by way of our founding Fathers of the United States of America.